are you my moms?

the musings of yet another lesbian couple on the journey of mother(s)hood

Moms Say the Darndest Things July 31, 2014

Filed under: Rigby,toddler — areyoumymoms @ 4:37 pm
Tags: ,

The other day as Rigby started to wake up, he began that telltale whine that let me know something he wanted was out of his reach.  I went into his room to find him looking over the crib rail, exclaiming, “TOWER! TOWER!”  And sure enough, 2 prized lego stacks (towers) had made their way out of the crib and onto the floor.  A few minutes and a diaper change later as I was pouring his cereal, I heard myself say something I never thought I’d hear, let alone say: “Please don’t put your legos in the sink.”  Whaaa?  And then I realized MKL and I say strange things like this all the time.  So today, here are a few of my favorite things we’ve said since becoming moms.  They’re all funnier and weirder if I leave out the context altogether but I’ve included it a few times just in case any of you work for DFCS.  I don’t need a case worker showing up…

"You're bored?  Here - play with Stella's leash."

“You’re bored? Here – play with Stella’s leash for awhile.”

  • “We don’t eat seashells.”
  • “Don’t throw your milk at the dog.”
  • “Are you playing with the bubbles on your pecker?” 
  • “Do you have to put your head in there?” (you don’t want to know)
  •  “You have a Cheerio stuck to your butt.”  (this has been said to every member of our household, human and canine alike)
  • “Stop humping the baby!!” (yes, we’ve had to say this to our female dog)
  • “Eeeewwwww – don’t step on the condom!!” (on a walk around our particularly colorful downtown neighborhood…)
  • “Sure – come on in here while I go potty.”  (if you have a toddler and haven’t said something like this, please leave a comment and let me know how you’ve reclaimed your right to privacy in the bathroom)
  • “No, no, no, NOOOO – don’t put your hands in the poop!!” 
  •  “In fact, I am not your Dad.  I am your Mom.  Please stop calling me Dad.”
  • “Please stop pointing that at me!” (no, not his finger…baby boners start very early, and if you’re not prepared, the first one you see will continue to blur your vision for weeks to come)

 

Remember that show “Kids Say the Darndest Things?”  I can recall sitting with my grandmother and laughing hysterically at the cute things the children used to say (“Who was George Washington’s wife?”  “Miss America.”)  And now that I have a child and the world is just aching for another reality show, I think someone should just follow parents of toddlers around and catch the insane things that come out of our mouths on a daily basis.  Toddlers lend perspective.  And, thankfully, context.

 

Viva La Revolution July 25, 2014

Filed under: Rigby — areyoumymoms @ 12:52 pm
Tags: ,

Last night it happened.  The revolution began.

Rigby has been babbling for a year – having full conversations with us without actually using very many words.  About a month ago his vocabulary started to expand seemingly overnight.  Over the past week it has exploded.  It’s as though each time you talk to him he picks up another new work.  He has started answering questions (How old are you? Teeewwww!  What’s the dog’s name?  Stewwa.)  And he gets true joy out of the fact that we can understand him – he finds it hilarious.  I’m in love with this phase.  He’s so much fun and the new words are simply adorable.  In the bathtub he not only recited his numbers, but he picked up some blocks and counted them.  He’s so eager to show us what he knows and we are a more than willing audience.

Last night after his bath we were combing his hair (just try to do it without his help…I dare you), and he’d apparently had enough.  He picked up the brush and yelled “NO!” as clear as day and reached up to put the brush back on the shelf where it belongs.  I stood at the changing table staring at him, stunned.  Rigby has never said that word before.  Nana confirmed that I heard him right and I knew life as we know it will never be the same.  Out little boy has started to rebel.  My mind raced to a 5-year-old Rigby, standing in his room refusing to put away toys.  And then to a 10-year-old Rigby who just says no to homework.  Next I saw the teenager who won’t come out of his room.  And before I knew it, he was a full-grown man shouting about how out-of-touch his old moms are and telling us NO…NO…NOOOO!!! 

I had been so proud that “no” wasn’t one of his first words.  I’m pretty sure I said it early (and often everyday since) so when his first words were things like dog, apple, violin (!), flower, and a strange combination of syllables that  may sound like a New Englander asking for a beer but actually means please, I was thrilled.  All these words are so happy and are said with such a sweet little voice.  NO isn’t happy.  And it wasn’t said sweetly.  It was shouted loudly, with intent, and in my mind it represented such a huge leap in development that I couldn’t see my little baby anymore.  He’s a tiny person with opinions now, and he is finding the words to express them.

So I took a breath.

I decided to bask in his no.  This is progress.  He’s not defying us.  He’s just asserting himself.  And besides, a year ago he barely understood what that word meant when we said it.  Now he understands it so well that he chooses to use it.  Toward his mom.  Who loves him.  And only wants to brush his hair.  Ugh…NOOOOOOO!!!

 

Toddler Tips July 22, 2014

Filed under: Rigby — areyoumymoms @ 2:53 pm
Tags: , ,

Well, another year gone, another blog ignored.  If you could all just be here for the witty observations as they happen in real time, I wouldn’t have to write this.  (Pretty inconsiderate of you, if you ask me.)  But since you’re not here and I still have a head full of observations…

A rare moment of pause.

A rare moment of pause.

Our sweet Rigby is about to turn 2 whole years old.  I’m not sure how that happened, but it did.  Around his first birthday, I wrote that he was a full-fledged toddler.  HAH!  Kudos to all you parents out there who didn’t publicly shame me for thinking that’s as “toddler” as it gets.  He no longer needs a destination to start running, and at a mere 23 months he has the reach of an NBA forward.  He talks now, too.  Well, sort of.  His vocabulary is expanding every day (whose isn’t?) and his comprehension level is amazing.  Sadly, that probably means he’ll be swearing soon.  His gorgeous hair is still all most people can talk about when they see him for the first time…I try not to get offended when they ask where he got it.  And he’s still wonderfully independent.  His toys of choice are simple: give him a book or some legos and he’ll entertain himself for an hour.  (However, give him a toothbrush, and he’ll fight to the death to keep his little fingers wrapped around it so he can do things without any help from his moms.)

As I’ve watched Rigby’s progress over the last year, I’ve made a mental list of a few helpful tips for parents of toddlers.  I could give a disclaimer about how this advice is not from a professional, but the way I figure it, anyone who has parented a toddler for more than 10 consecutive minutes is a pro. 

A boy is not a girl.  Seems like an elementary reminder, but when it comes to toddlers, this has real meaning.  Little girls like to sit and read, sit and color, sit and play with toys.  From my experience, little boys barely sit down to eat.  Rigby seriously doesn’t stop moving during the waking hours.  Fortunately this means he’s usually tired when it’s time to sleep.  So let your little boy run – take him on those slightly embarassing walks outside nice restaurants; ignore the common-sense-meter that goes off in your head when you see him headed the opposite direction on the beach; and just move your furniture around to create some more running space in the house.  Chasing toddlers burns calories, and wears them out in the process.  Win-win.

Your child will talk eventually.  I know every expert has already told you this, and if you think you have a late-talker, you’re not buying it anyway.  But it’s true.  I thought we’d never hear him say more than “dog” or “dad” (grr), but Rigby’s first words have come flooding out in the past few weeks.  He now counts to 10 – with particular attention to 2 and 8 – and says his abc’s (ok, 18 out of 26 isn’t bad).  So what if your friend’s 9-month-old is reading Shakespeare out loud?  Your kid will amaze you with his smarts just as soon as he’s ready.  And since there is no sound cuter than toddlers having full conversations without actually saying words, bask in the adorableness as long as it lasts.

Treat every child like the youngest.  I’ve heard parents of more than one child say that with each baby born, the rules get progressively more lax.  The first-born is virtually cocooned in bubble-wrap until she reaches age 16, and the 3rd child gets to do relay races in a meadow of broken glass.  I say treat them all like they’re the baby.  This is a lesson I had to learn from MKL.  I was all ready to start wrapping Rigby in plastic when I realized that she not only let him do things that made me gasp, but she encouraged it.  Now, it’s not as though we’ve put his crib in the middle of the road for naptime, but if he wants to run up and down the hill in our backyard, why not?  Jumping on the couch?  You bet.  If he falls, he falls.  And because she lets him fall (and I do my best to follow suit), he handles each fall brilliantly.  Just wipes his hands off, points to anything that might hurt, and moves on with very little fanfare.  As it turns out, children are not made of tissue paper, and ours is fearless. 

Ignore your child.  There.  I said it.  Sometimes you just have to pretend they’re not there, both for your sanity and their development.  Rigby is a well-adjusted, self-sufficient kid, and I think a lot of it has to do with how we react to him – or more to the point – how we don’t react to him.  He’s reaching the age where he cries for any reason: I want to read a book, I don’t want to read a book, I want to go outside, I don’t want to put my shoes on, I don’t want to take a bath, my bath is over, etc.  The key for us is to avoid giving in every time he makes a whiny noise.  For as long as we can take it, we start a conversation with one another and try to pretend the ear-shattering screeching isn’t happening.  And in a few minutes, he’s done.  He has found something to distract him from whatever made him mad, and he’s back to his giggly self.  That, or we find ourselves 6 verses into Old MacDonald and having built a lego tower while blowing bubbles in an effort to take his mind off things.  (Note that this tip is not applicable in public.  Just because your child’s every noise sounds like a choir of angels to you, doesn’t mean everyone else wants to hear the concert.)

Toddlers are hard.  For serious.  They don’t care what your priorities are, or what you expect them to be doing at any given moment.  But at this age they’re also learning how to show unsolicited – and in Rigby’s case, unlimited – affection.  The occasional whining, the constant running, and the lack of full sentences are a small price to pay in exchange for hugs and kisses from my boy.

 

 
%d bloggers like this: