I’ve had a lot of time lately to sit and reflect back on the last year. After all, it hasn’t even been a year since our first insemination attempt. Let me start by thanking God for that. Publicly. And let me also tell all of you who are still ttc to hang in there. It will happen for you, and it will be a glorious ride.
Now that I’ve reminded myself of how grateful I am to be pregnant, here comes my rant of the day: this 2ww is worse than any other we experienced while ttc. I know, I know…shut up, pregnant girl…you’re so lucky. But really, once you’re in this boat (and you will be if you want to be!!), you will understand exactly where I’m coming from and you’ll look back and apologize for all the nasty names you just called me. You see, the last 2 weeks of pregnancy are agony. With every contraction, every movement of the belly, every weird twinge or pain south of the border, I’m absolutely convinced labor is starting. And guess what? It’s not! So just like last August, September, October, and November, I’m keenly in tune with my body, and waiting for any sign that the baby’s coming. And just like those months that told me any symptom of the hormones were actually pregnancy symptoms, every pregnancy symptom now seems to signal labor. It’s the dreaded 2ww all over again. And just like those other 2ww’s, there’s nothing in the world that would be enough to distract me. People at work keep asking why I’m not relaxing at home. Uh…because I can’t sleep, let alone relax, and there’s nothing left to do but look at the completed nursery, hoping and praying there will be a baby in it soon.
It doesn’t help that I’m one of 4 pregnant women in my immediate stratosphere who were/are due within a few weeks of one another. The first had her baby about 2 weeks ago, 4 days shy of her due date. Number 2 came yesterday, right on time (at 10+ lbs…God bless that sweet girl and what I’d imagine are her very sore lady-parts!!). And the 3rd will be induced Monday, 6 days early. Not that it’s a race or a competition, but I’m most definitely bringing up the rear (in more ways than one, if you’ve seen my ass lately…).
This week’s check-up let us know that the baby will be an estimated 8.5 lbs. Hmph. Not really sure how to feel about that. I’m a tall girl, the donor’s tall, and I come from tall stock. So I guess having a small baby would be like my wearing a size 5 shoe – it would just look weird. We’ll see how accurate our doc’s guess is. He didn’t care to make any kind of estimate of when I’ll deliver and still saw no need to do a cervical check. But out of the 4 pregnant ladies in my world, surely the law of averages will have one of us delivering late. If you’re keeping score, that’s probably me. My boss wants me working a reduced schedule because he’s paranoid that I’ll go into labor in the horrible Atlanta traffic and end up giving birth on the side of the road, aided by some greasy-but-good-samaritan trucker. MKL and our bff both keep reassuring me that it’s coming this weekend, but I don’t buy it. My belly has definitely dropped, and changes shape every day; but I’m just not convinced that it’s low enough to say we’ll have a baby in the next 4-5 days. Nor do I really think my labor is going to be fast enough that I’ll go from zero to crowning in the length of a 45-minute commute…though I’ve definitely taken advantage of the “come in late and leave early to avoid the traffic” schedule all the same.
But maybe I’m wrong. It’s been known to happen. Maybe we’ll be blessed with our little bundle this weekend. I have my fingers crossed! Not literally, though. Have I mentioned how puffy they are?