are you my moms?

the musings of yet another lesbian couple on the journey of mother(s)hood

(The Two-Week) Waiting is the Hardest Part July 25, 2012

Filed under: 3rd Trimester,Pregnancy,Two-week wait — areyoumymoms @ 1:46 pm
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I’ve had a lot of time lately to sit and reflect back on the last year.  After all, it hasn’t even been a year since our first insemination attempt.  Let me start by thanking God for that.  Publicly.  And let me also tell all of you who are still ttc to hang in there.  It will happen for you, and it will be a glorious ride.

Now that I’ve reminded myself of how grateful I am to be pregnant, here comes my rant of the day: this 2ww is worse than any other we experienced while ttc.  I know, I know…shut up, pregnant girl…you’re so lucky.  But really, once you’re in this boat (and you will be if you want to be!!), you will understand exactly where I’m coming from and you’ll look back and apologize for all the nasty names you just called me.  You see, the last 2 weeks of pregnancy are agony.  With every contraction, every movement of the belly, every weird twinge or pain south of the border, I’m absolutely convinced labor is starting.  And guess what?  It’s not!  So just like last August, September, October, and November, I’m keenly in tune with my body, and waiting for any sign that the baby’s coming.  And just like those months that told me any symptom of the hormones were actually pregnancy symptoms, every pregnancy symptom now seems to signal labor.  It’s the dreaded 2ww all over again.  And just like those other 2ww’s, there’s nothing in the world that would be enough to distract me.  People at work keep asking why I’m not relaxing at home.  Uh…because I can’t sleep, let alone relax, and there’s nothing left to do but look at the completed nursery, hoping and praying there will be a baby in it soon.

It doesn’t help that I’m one of 4 pregnant women in my immediate stratosphere who were/are due within a few weeks of one another.  The first had her baby about 2 weeks ago, 4 days shy of her due date.  Number 2 came yesterday, right on time (at 10+ lbs…God bless that sweet girl and what I’d imagine are her very sore lady-parts!!).  And the 3rd will be induced Monday, 6 days early.  Not that it’s a race or a competition, but I’m most definitely bringing up the rear (in more ways than one, if you’ve seen my ass lately…). 

This week’s check-up let us know that the baby will be an estimated 8.5 lbs.  Hmph.  Not really sure how to feel about that.  I’m a tall girl, the donor’s tall, and I come from tall stock.  So I guess having a small baby would be like my wearing a size 5 shoe – it would just look weird.  We’ll see how accurate our doc’s guess is.  He didn’t care to make any kind of estimate of when I’ll deliver and still saw no need to do a cervical check.  But out of the 4 pregnant ladies in my world, surely the law of averages will have one of us delivering late.  If you’re keeping score, that’s probably me.  My boss wants me working a reduced schedule because he’s paranoid that I’ll go into labor in the horrible Atlanta traffic and end up giving birth on the side of the road, aided by some greasy-but-good-samaritan trucker.  MKL and our bff both keep reassuring me that it’s coming this weekend, but I don’t buy it.  My belly has definitely dropped, and changes shape every day; but I’m just not convinced that it’s low enough to say we’ll have a baby in the next 4-5 days.   Nor do I really think my labor is going to be fast enough that I’ll go from zero to crowning in the length of a 45-minute commute…though I’ve definitely taken advantage of the “come in late and leave early to avoid the traffic” schedule all the same.

But maybe I’m wrong.  It’s been known to happen.  Maybe we’ll be blessed with our little bundle this weekend.  I have my fingers crossed!  Not literally, though.  Have I mentioned how puffy they are?


The Final Countdown July 21, 2012

Filed under: 3rd Trimester — areyoumymoms @ 9:54 am
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The most recent picture of the belly…large and in charge at 35 weeks!!

15 more days.  360 hours.  But who’s counting?  Oh yeah – everyone.  I’m counting.  MKL is counting.  Our parents and friends are counting.  Even strangers are counting: “How much longer do you have?”  Not much longer.  I guess…

At Monday’s doctor’s appointment, we found out that our doc doesn’t do cervical checks until 39 or 40 weeks.  Most women know by now if they’re starting to dilate or if their cervix is thinning in preparation for labor.  They also are starting to hear from their doctors an estimate of the baby’s size.  Not us.  Our doc explained that cervical checks at this point in pregnancy are not very scientific, and typically just make women paranoid and obsessive about when labor will start.  If I start getting more intense Braxton-Hicks contractions or any kind of pre-labor pains, they’ll check me.  But if things continue to progress normally until my due date, they’ll probably just leave well enough alone.  I get it…if I know I’m 3cm dilated, I’ll think a sneeze could push the baby out, or will be more suspicious of those nagging Braxton-Hicks “practice” contractions.  However, my doc seems to have overlooked the fact that every other ob in our area works differently and I know a lot of pregnant women right now, all of whom seem to report in weekly on their cervical progress.  So now I’m left out of the “race to efface.”

Other women also seem to have baby weight estimates already.  My fundal height (distance between the bottom and top of my uterus) measures accurately for this point in pregnancy.  So no need for an ultrasound.  Great.  Really.  I don’t want to sound ungrateful for that – all we’ve asked for is a healthy pregnancy.  But without another ultrasound, there’s no real way to guess the baby’s size.  MKL’s very scientific estimate: 7-10 lbs.  Again, I understand the logic.  At this point I’m not terribly afraid of labor – I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m trying to stick with the whole “my body was meant to do this” mantra.  So if I know this is a whopper of a baby, maybe the fear will sink in.  And I firmly believe fear of labor will make the whole process longer and more difficult.  Again, I just have to trust our doctors and my body.

By the time you hit 38 weeks’ pregnant, you’ve likely done all the preparing you’re going to do.  I know we have.  I keep thinking there’s something else we can do to occupy our time while we wait for our new arrival, but there’s really not much left.  Everyone says to “savor these last days of just the two of you.”  And we are.  We’re doing all we can to spend quality time together, give extra love to our precious pup, and go out to dinner with friends while we don’t need a sitter.  In the meantime, a friend posted this on facebook, and I am doing all I can to embrace it:


3 Weeks ’til D-Day July 15, 2012

Filed under: 3rd Trimester — areyoumymoms @ 6:01 pm
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Today marks 37 weeks’ pregnant.  That means we’re 3 weeks away from our due date.  The nursery’s done (save a few minor adjustments), our birth plan is written, and according to medical wisdom, this baby is all but ready to come out.  Tomorrow we head to the doctor for the first of our weekly visits, so that the doctor can take a guess at how close we are to going into labor.  Apparently it’s not terribly scientific.  I could be dilated and effaced tomorrow and not give birth for several weeks.  Or I could be closed up like a drum tomorrow and have the baby Tuesday.

People ask if I’m afraid of labor, and while I’m not naive enough to think that I’d like to make a habit of giving birth, I’m not really afraid.  I have a relatively high tolerance for pain; I enjoy being tattooed and have survived a pretty severe bout of meningitis, not to mention 5 seasons of Jersey Shore, so that’s got to say something about my general resolve.   I figure my body was meant to do this, so all I need to do is trick my mind into going out for coffee for several hours and hopefully it will be over before I know it.  Please don’t write to tell me how wrong I am about that theory.  I’m holding onto it for all it’s worth these days.

Now that the preparation is as finished as it’s going to be, there’s nothing left but to wait.  Not knowing the gender has been difficult.  We made the decision early in the process to let it be a surprise, and there are definitely times when I’ve wished we could just ask my belly and get the answer.  But because of the extra anticipation of not knowing what the baby will look like nor whether it will be a boy or girl, it’s giving me something to take my mind off the idea of passing a watermelon.  All I can see is a picture of MKL and me holding our sweet little monkey, and finally putting a face to all the kicks and the months…years, really…of anticipation.


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