I know it has been a while since I last posted, but there hasn’t been too much to say. I’ve read that right now our little monkey is the size of a sweet pea. How is it possible that something so small could disrupt my body with such force? Most days I’m exhausted from the time I get up to the time I go to bed, nauseous for about 4 hours of the day (contrary to the popular term, that nausea is not confined to the morning!), and my mood swings violently from bliss to blues like the pirate ride at Six Flags. On other days I feel fantastic – full of energy and wondering if I’m even pregnant at all.
The past 36 hours have been the roughest so far. Yesterday MKL and I got out early in the morning to do some Christmas shopping. It was truly an out-of-body experience. I have no idea what we bought, what we passed up, or how we got to or from the store. What I do remember is that I had to work really hard to keep from crying the whole time. No matter how good my nonfat, decaf gingerbread latte tasted, regardless of how much fun it is to find gifts for family and friends, and despite MKL’s best efforts to keep the atmosphere light and festive, I just wanted to crawl in bed and weep. After shopping, I was planning to go to yoga and brunch with friends. That plan was quickly derailed the minute we pulled into the driveway and I could tell the dam wasn’t going to hold any longer. Before we could even get our bags out of the car, tears were streaming down my face. Streaming tears gave way to sobs – gut-wrenching sobs – that didn’t stop for an hour. Realizing the possibility that hearing “exhale…and chaturanga up” or “how do you want your eggs?” could make me inexplicably weep like a child, I bowed out of yoga and brunch and went to bed to cry some more, feeling like a total choad for being that girl.
MKL was adorable, as always. She kept chanting, “yep – that sounds great!” and “sure, baby – whatever you want.” She could teach a class in going along with your pregnant wife. After a little lunch, we went for a nice long walk. Even though I get strangely out of breath just going up the slightest hill these days, the walk seemed to do some good and the day picked up a bit. I thought I was out of the woods, at least for a few days. Ha. HAHAHA!! I got about an hour of sleep after we went to bed, and then spent the rest of the night helping my body rid itself of everything I’ve eaten since June. Yuck.
Having said all of this, I’ve never been happier to be sick in my life! It’s not the flu. It’s not something I ate. It’s that sweet little pea, poking at me, just like in the fairy tale. Pretty soon we’ll see doc again, an appointment that I view as our opportunity both to see the monkey’s first picture and appear before the progesterone parole board. With any luck I’ll be able to stop taking the supplements and the symptoms will start to diminish a little. In the meantime, I’ll just continue to try to sleep while that tiny sweet pea pokes at me through a stack of mattresses.