Babies are everywhere. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re seriously surrounded by them; I’m starting to fear a global takeover by some tiny, diaper-wearing terrorist cell. If you’re not ttc you might not have picked up on the threat. You may think it’s a coincidence when 5 of your friends announce their pregnancies in the same week. You might have been completely oblivious to the infants at every table in the restaurant last night, all of whom seemed to be cooing in your general direction. And you may be totally unaware that children have somehow made their way into every home on your street while you weren’t looking. If you’re ttc or have been on this journey yourself, you know all of this to be true, and you know it’s a form of torture.
For those of you whose insides don’t hurt when a baby enters a 2-mile radius of your location, let me try to put this in perspective. Picture yourself hungry…the hungriest you’ve ever been…and now put yourself at the grandest, most beautiful buffet you’ve ever seen. Your mouth waters when you see the prime rib carving station. The savory aromas of the 300 side dishes meld into one beautiful fragrance that instantly fills your senses. Just when you’ve turned your attention to the dessert table and have begun to plot your attack, the entire buffet is encased in bullet-proof glass. The really annoying part? Everyone else in the restaurant can still get to the food. They fill plate after plate, and will even ask you to hold their food while they run a quick errand or tend to some other personal business. All the while you just sit outside the glass case, your stomach growling at deafening decibels.
So as you might be able to tell, I’m kinda whiny and emotional today. It’s just the progesterone and I know it will go away (or result in a baby, which will certainly make it more tolerable!!), but it totally sucks. Please note that I’m not a complete tool – I am as happy for other ttc couples as I will be for us when we succeed. My cousin just announced her pregnancy and I couldn’t possibly be more excited for her and her husband. They will be amazing parents and have tried for a super long time. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t put me on the outside of the buffet for a split second, but I truly am thrilled for them. On the other hand, when I hear that some teenager has gotten pregnant, or a couple has conceived without trying (or even wanting a baby!), I can’t help being jealous and angry on all our behalf.
One week away from getting the results of this cycle, and I’m climbing the walls again. I’ve decided that if this journey requires a 4th attempt, I’m making a two-week-wait calendar – kinda like an advent calendar. So send me your ideas for fun activities, inspirational quotes, jokes, distracting/time-sucking websites, or other fun reveals that would help to pass the time. Otherwise the baby terrorists win, and we can’t have that.