are you my moms?

the musings of yet another lesbian couple on the journey of mother(s)hood

In Memorium October 14, 2011

Filed under: Backstory — areyoumymoms @ 5:07 pm
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One of the wisest people I know recently posed the following to me in an email: “wow…isn’t the spiritual energy of the universe a wonderfully mysterious and powerful connection.”  Yes.  Yes, it is.  That very wise person performed MKL’s and my wedding ceremony and has been full of sage advice for the dozen or so years I’ve known him.  When times get difficult, I frequently hear his deep, soothing, damn-near-hypnotic voice in my head and like anything produced in my dutch oven, he calms my soul.  Today was the kind of day that made me crave his comforting words, and I found them in that months-old email.

This morning we lost our Winston, and the world lost a truly fine dog.

Winston was so special that when MKL and her ex got him as a puppy and split up shortly thereafter, they shared custody of him for another 10+ years – shuttling him back and forth each weekend.  He was loved and is dearly missed by two families.  His other household includes two small boys, the older of whom will be told that Winston has gone to camp.  MKL and I have both grieved the fact that our child will never know the joy that was Winston.  We had already pictured him sleeping the guard shift in the nursery, and acting as both playmate and pillow to a toddler.  He was a prince among dogs, and a bit of a dandy.  He loved getting brushed, didn’t love getting dirty.  More than anything he loved people…his people, your people…any people, and particularly children.  When we went to the dog park, he’d run from owner to owner, imploring them to pet him and ignoring the 20 other dogs who wanted him to join in a tennis ball chase.  Everywhere he went, people called him “beautiful,” asked if they could pet him (if he gave them time to ask before he leaned on their leg and demanded their affection), and some even referred to him as “regal.”  I don’t know how regal he was, but I know he was the king of our castle. 

I didn’t grow up with pets.  Winston not only helped me get over a dog allergy, he made me love dogs.  Early in MKL’s and my relationship I was still a little wary.  But this sweet, gentle giant dared me not to fall in love with him.  I usually don’t back down from a dare, but he had me on this one.  Every morning while MKL was in the shower he’d climb into the bed and snuggle up next to me with his head on my shoulder.  Morning by morning, little by little, he stole my heart.   

Tomorrow we go for the profasi trigger shot, and have planned iui’s on Sunday and Monday.  And so my mind wanders back to our dear friend’s words about the mysteriously connected ways of the spiritual universe.  As we work again to usher a new spirit into our home, we also say goodbye to one that has occupied a huge part for more than a decade. 

For Winston, Calla, Sookie, Milli, Sophie, Cosmo, Tigger, Woody, Rivers, Zach, and all those other beloved spirits who will watch over us all.


2 Responses to “In Memorium”

  1. Michele Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, I know exactly how hard it is. This post really has me very choked up.


  2. Jane Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Winston. He was such a great and sweet and patient companion. I’ll miss him. Thinking of both of you!


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