For the second consecutive morning, I woke up with a cold today. Yesterday it was mostly a stuffy nose and lots of sneezing. I kept trying to convince myself that it was that progesterone/early pregnancy symptom, but when MKL woke up sick today I realized this time it’s really a cold. At first I was almost grateful to have a different set of physical symptoms to focus on for a while, but now the cold has trapped us in the house for a whole Saturday, which makes both our minds turn to Monday’s pregnancy test and Tuesday’s results.
Earlier this week I felt like this cycle had to be a success. I had those weird cramps and random spotting, which I of course deemed “implantation-related.” Now that we’ve been cooped up in the house all day, I’ve gone from second guessing the implantation thoughts to flatly convincing myself that I’m not pregnant at all. I’ve been pretty emotional and irritable today, which could be the hormones, the cold, or sadly…PMS.
A few things have changed since the last time we were in this phase of the two week wait. A few more loved ones know about our efforts, which is great. But it also means there are more people to face on Tuesday if the phone call from the guru doesn’t bring about the results we’re praying for. We also learned yesterday that my honey badger mother-in-law won’t be coming to visit next weekend after all. Tension seems to be loosening a bit between her and MKL, but they agreed a little space would be appropriate. I’m happy for MKL that things seem to be getting better, and I hope it’s because the honey badger is coming around. I’d like to believe that’s the case, and am doing all in my power to give her the benefit of the doubt. So for now, I’ll just reserve comment. (Here’s hoping it will be easier to execute that plan than it was to put it in writing.)
I love to cook. As a child I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my mother and cooking is a bond we still share today. When the world gets nutty, my kitchen is a place that calms my soul. A few months ago my mother surprised me with a culinary gift: a Le Creuset dutch oven. It’s beautiful…looks just like this one. I watch cooking shows all the time and it seems that all my favorite dishes are made in one of these cast iron beauties, with good reason. The enameled cast iron cooks things slowly and evenly, and gets the best flavor out of every ingredient. Plus it looks down right sexy sitting on the stovetop. I’ve used it for a few special dishes but today I used it to make a delicious batch of chicken soup. It seemed the right thing to do, given the fact that we’re both sick. But it was mostly about the act of cooking, not about enjoying the end result. That’s right. Cheesy as it may sound, I made chicken soup for my soul. It tasted great and made me feel warm and cozy from the inside out. The cold symptoms haven’t faded much but I felt better just from spending quality time with my new favorite pot, filling it with organic veggies, chicken, and love.
I feel like this house has become one giant dutch oven this weekend (ew…no, not in the urban dictionary way!). It’s filled with all the ingredients and love we need to be parents. Also there’s a simmering pressure building to the outcome of our second attempt. I just hope we both feel better tomorrow so things don’t boil over…