Tomorrow we have a date with Doc and the guru. Let the games begin again!
A co-worker told me today that his wife is pregnant. Again. They already have a baby. But they’re going to have another one. They’re a sweet family and I’m happy for them. I’m also a wee bitter for me, MKL, and everyone else who is trying to start a family.
The thing is, for breeders who don’t have fertility issues, conception is typically an enjoyable activity…I’m told. It’s not about exam rooms or prescriptions; there’s no worrying about whether your period will coincide with your doctor’s vacation schedule. Hell, half the time they don’t even know it’s happening. If at first they don’t succeed, people tell them, “relax…it will happen when you don’t work so hard at it.” And just like that, couples who have been on adoption waiting lists for years conceive naturally (I’m pretty sure this is true…if not, it’s just a Sex and the City-ism). With so many of us, conception is not at all an intimate process between two people who love each other, but a task that involves a team of experts and life-sized-paper-towel-drapes. Take away the harsh lighting and extraneous personnel, though, and the actual science is the same. So maybe the key to conception is relaxing and enjoying it…insomuch as that’s possible in an exam room.
Last cycle I didn’t know what to expect. I was nervous at every turn, and wasn’t the least bit relaxed. I didn’t enjoy it. Not. At. All. But this time, I’m wiser. I know how each step of the process feels, physically and emotionally. I know how my body reacted to the medications and hormones, and can expect it to have a similar reaction this time around. So why not relax and enjoy it? This is the most sacred journey MKL and I will ever take together. And this second time around I’m determined to breathe and smile through it. Hopefully, just like they tell the breeders, that will make all the difference.