are you my moms?

the musings of yet another lesbian couple on the journey of mother(s)hood

Progesteroni: San Francisco treat or Bobby Brown song? August 30, 2011

Filed under: Hormones,IUI,Two-week wait — areyoumymoms @ 10:37 am
Tags: , ,

Before turning Whitney into the 12-step poster child, Bobby Brown once gave his heart to progesteroni.  Wait…that’s not right. 

A trolley dings in the distance, and a cheerful chorus sings: “Progesteroni, the San Francisco treat!”  No?

I’m a musician.  I measure my life in song.  I hear soundtracks in my head when everything is silent, and this whole ttc journey is no exception.  I can’t help humming a lullaby when we’re out to dinner and the cute baby at the next table smiles at me, making my insides hurt.  I hear percussion in the tip-tapping of an ultrasound machine as the doctor measures my follicles (annoying…it’s like rain man).  So it should come as no surprise to those who know me that I hear 80’s hip-hop and rice jingles when someone says “progesterone.”  Correction: I did hear music, right up until I was 8 hours into my first dose.

For those of you not in the know, women undergoing ART are urged to supplement each treatment cycle with a round of progesterone until it’s time for the blood test.  This will help to prevent miscarriage in the event that the treatment cycle is successful.  Sounds harmless, huh?  Not so fast.  The side effect list for progesterone is as follows: headache, breast tenderness, upset stomach, tiredness, and a host of other excellent pastimes you don’t even want to know about.  The list of early pregnancy symptoms is as follows: headache, breast tenderness, upset stomach, tiredness…do you see a pattern developing?  Me, too.  As if the two-week wait wasn’t bad enough, now the doctors have added the delightful bonus of heightening the pregnancy paranoia.  Awesome.

But possibly the worst side effect from the progesterone for me is the mood roller coaster.  My wife really should be sainted.  She has absorbed the brunt of my crap for the past 6 days, and still loves me enough to pray that I’m pregnant instead of wishing she’d awaken from her own personal nightmare.  For instance, it probably wasn’t her fault that I got overheated the other day when drying my hair, causing it to curl, thereby reversing my blow-out efforts and prompting me to throw a round brush across the bathroom (did I mention this hormone also raises my body temperature by about 60 degrees?  and it’s August?  and I live in Atlanta!!).  After my fit, I found her patiently riding out the storm with our dog peeking out from behind her legs.  I was shocked when I returned home later and the house wasn’t boarded up in preparation for the next hurricane. I fully expected sandbags.

The bottom line is that, as with all other joys of IUI, this might help us become parents.  Short of some twisted form of torture involving clowns and animals dressed as humans, I can withstand anything that results in a baby.  Here’s hoping the same goes for wifey.  So to echo the words of a formerly great musician: My heart belongs to progesteroni.  She’s my only love!  At least for the next week.

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4 Responses to “Progesteroni: San Francisco treat or Bobby Brown song?”

  1. Lauren Says:

    I’ll tell you (in a public forum even) that I downloaded this several months ago and listen to it at the gym (yes, right next to you)…along with some other faves of that era (a little LL, etc.), although none work so well as Roni for hysterical hormone hijinks. But now I’m totally singing it for the rest of the day, so thanks for that
    …”If you believe in love and all that it can do for you, give it a chance, girl, you’ll find romance, and if you find a tender roni that is right for you, make it official, give her your love”…

    Come on, just give her your love.

    P.S. I changed my photo to one of me with a baby, couldn’t hurt right? Good baby juju and all that…Love you!

    Like

  2. areyoumymoms Says:

    Hooray for Roni and for good baby juju…mostly cuz it sounds like jujubees…jeez, I miss sugar.

    Like

  3. April Gigi Says:

    i am on the progesterone roller coaster right now. the side effects suck. i still have 7 days left to insert, suffer, wait, and wonder. you can read about it at http://aprilgigiangels.blogspot.com/

    good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

    • areyoumymoms Says:

      Thanks, April – best of luck to you, as well. Let me know how it goes! I’m too afraid to do homes tests and have them come out as false positive, so I’m waiting for my doctor’s blood test on Tuesday.

      Like


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